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Welcome to the underground safe sex arena! Whether it’s a group or solo experience, who doesn’t love pleasure? However, the unfortunate part is that sex as a subject is viewed as taboo and many things are often kept from general public knowledge. To take away that barrier a little bit, here are some sex tips including the best toys and practices recommended by a variety of different communities, genders, sexualities and identities!
Always be sure to clean your toys after play. For toys that will only touch your body and won’t have any transfer of bodily fluids between different people, rinse and soap it up with anti-bacterial soap and air dry. For toys that touch several people, rinse, boil, and air dry to ensure it is completely disinfected.
Always pee before and after sex regardless of gender, sexual orientation or identity. This will help avoid bacterial infections and a nasty trip to the doctor.
When trying out any new toy, whether by yourself or with a partner, start off small and then go from there! Always make sure that everyone is on the same page and that consent has been received from all parties.
Generally speaking, most sex toys can be a little bit expensive but — similar to tattoos or other items of that nature — if it’s going to go in or around your body, it’s better to not buy the cheapest option around. It's an investment in your pleasure after all! You also want to make sure that it’s made out of safe material with your body in mind and made for your level of usage. Another thing to take into consideration is how easy it’ll be to clean.
Where Guys, Gals and Nonbinary Pals Can Get High-Quality Sex Toys
Although we’ve already got you covered on one front, here are some of my personal favorite retailers when it comes to sex toys.
A woman-owned company featured on Refinery29, Cosmopolitan, Vice and Buzzfeed.
They offer a five-year warranty on all of their toys and focus on self-pleasure, regardless of age.
All products are made with safe materials and focus on couple-based toys so distance doesn’t have to be an issue!
This brand carries a variety of products for a variety of different sexual experiences and holds discounted, as well as affordable, sex toys to pricier sex toys!
Sex Toys for Men Co.
This company focuses on preventing prostate cancer while also providing a wide variety of prostate sex toys.
Since a lot of brands tend to sell sex toys that are gendered, here’s a company that specializes in non-human-based sex toys in order to avoid gender dysphoria and exclusion.
Boutique Bellesa & Buzzfeed: Pebble
As a product that’s been sold out many times, it’s no surprise that it has raving reviews! The Pebble is great for beginners — it’s small, discreet and comes in super cute packaging to match. It’s waterproof and works as both a clit suction and clit vibrator, plus comes with USB charge. It’s a little pricier, but shipping will be free — not to mention, Boutique Bellesa offers plenty of great deals when you sign up for their emails.
This toy is great as it is safe for both vaginal and anal play since it's made out of silicone. It comes in so many different sizes, plus it can be used with a harness as a strap-on for those interested in that kind of play. Not to mention it's a cute little base for self-play and gives beginners better control when they're first starting out. It starts out at $30 for the smaller sizes and goes up according to size, which is super affordable for a high-quality toy.
Lube is an absolute necessity during sex regardless of gender or sexuality. Sliquid Sassy has been highly recommended by many since it's water-based and water-soluble as well as glycerin-free. This means that it's better than oil-based lubes and very easy to clean off, plus it’s super safe for your body! Most lube companies and condom companies will carry products that contain glycerin in it to help lubricate, but that means that it is also somewhat toxic for your body. That’s what makes this lube excellent is its focus on safety and fun. Plus it is pH balanced so for sensitive bodies, it won’t throw your body out of balance and allow you to have some fun in the bedroom! It starts at $10 for a 2 oz bottle, which is standard and affordable pricing for lubes.
After Dark Water-based Lube
As mentioned beforehand, water-based lubes are just better than oil or silicone-based ones due to their compatibility with bodies and the fact that it's easy to clean up. This particular brand of water-based lube is also highly recommended by many. It helps avoid any allergic or poor reactions due to its contents. It's very recommended for anal play and it is very accessible as it is carried in most brick and mortar sex shops. This one is priced at $10 for a 2 oz bottle. The company also carries other types of lubes and some hybrid lubes for those who want a variety and want to check out other products.
SKYN condoms are absolutely great! If there's one condom that everyone should carry — it's this one. Since a lot of people have latex allergies or sensitivity to latex, most condoms can irritate areas down below and make sex not so fun. That’s what makes SKYN so great as it isn’t made out of latex and it provides a unique sensation and increased sensitivity compared to your average condom. It's coated in lubricant and made out of a soft non-latex material with natural coloring. It can help anyone have fun and avoid annoying reactions to latex. Plus it is an absolute steal at $11 for a pack of 24 condoms!
Buck Off Sleeve
The Buck Off Sleeve is a great toy that caters to trans men who are taking testosterone and in the middle of FTM transition. The toy was designed for self play with gender dysphoria that many trans men experience in mind. Not only is it accessible, it is very affordable at $26 for one sleeve. It has been raved and reviewed well by the Trans community.
Doc Johnson Mood Naughty 1 Trainer Set
This particular set of toys is really great for anal play and anal training for the beginner. Since it's made of silicone, it's body-safe as well as comes in two fun colors: black and pink. It’s a set that comes with a three different sizes and is tapered for better insertion. It makes exploring anal play less intimidating and great for anyone who wants to start out, or the experienced player. It's also super affordable at $30 for the whole set and includes three individual toys!
Dosha 3 Piece Glass Anal Plug Kit
This set is very similar to the one mentioned above as it is designed for anal play. It's a great set that comes with a couple different sizes. It's completely clear but easy to clean since it's glass. Please follow the cleaning tips mentioned above. Since it's made out of glass, it is hypoallergenic for those who might be on the more sensitive side. Don’t worry about it breaking as it is very sturdy and made specifically for anal play. It has a tapered shape so it is great for the beginner or the seasoned player. It's also very well priced at $44 for the whole set!
Please always remember to be safe and have consent whether you are by yourself, with a partner or with several partners. There is a lot to navigate through from the more basic sex experience to the more kinky sex experience. There is something for everyone out there and that goes for sex products too. Have a sexy day!